Farmville 2: Country Escape iOS - 15 Minute Reviews Mar 13, 2014 0:42:28 GMT -8
Post by hoggy110 on Mar 13, 2014 0:42:28 GMT -8
I...I don't even know what I'm doing anymore
I'm actually a bit surprised Zynga still exists at this point
Ha ha...games are cute when they try to shoehorn in bad plot for no valid reason
You don't need a home to consider yourself at home. That's being offensive to homeless people
Speaking of which, where are my grandparents? Are they dead? Did I just come back from their funeral and then been put into slave labour?
That Zynga, is an example of back story. Try using it, or just don't put in a story
Look at her eyes...what is wrong with...is she the antichrist?
Wow, free keys to speed up time! The game is so kind to me!
So, what do you do all day, if you're just standing around doing nothing?
1) Farming is not a physical being, it can't run
2) In the context, family is impossible to exist, as that would imply that it can run through solid beings
Wow, this makes me feel like such a success. I want to keep on playing to feel this success more as I feel I may have grown an addiction to it
Maybe later...this game is not going to stop bugging me is it
I mean, why the hell would you consistently bug the user to put updates on which will consistently ignore them? Maybe some people don't like notifications Zynga, that's why other games make it so you can not use them
We've got apples over here. BUY SOME APPLES!!!
Oh, Farmville, you're killing me
Face off with your face-ing Facebook interruptions
Seriously, think of the children who could be wanting to check out something on Farmville 2 for impressions...I'll save you time. Run far, run fast
Oh, I can open the general store. Do I get to use fancy, over-sized, lethal in the wrong hands scissors
There's only one way out
Wow, these controls make a load of sense and are so simple to use. Great job
But seriously, who in the hell thought these controls were a good idea?
Oh right, antichrist lady who's keeping me hostage here
Such freemium, many pay
...I was born to do far, far more than waste 2 hours of my life doing this for 5 people to read
Oh yeah, that's the good stuff
Well, I have nothing to do for 30 seconds...so, did you see that ludicrous display last night?
Wait, two expensive freemium currencies?! Slow down guys
We have a cow...or a bull...I can't see udders, but they could exist
We'll just call this Schrodinger's Cow
Oh yeah, you grow crops on farms. That's a thing, right?
Now you won't let me sell my crops now? I don't care how much you look like a scarecrow
The antichrist lady really does have weird poses for such mundane stuff
Ok, that's another thing: You have to water stuff before it grows...you know how easy it is to forget that Zynga? Great game design, it perfectly matches the rest of this game
Some day...I will be able to add just a tiny bit of land to my farm
You could have added this once I got to the level...what use is a carnival in the middle of nowhere anyway?
A freeloading hippy until he starts to respect my authority...that isn't how it works, right?
What use does a helicopter have on a farm? Walking is not impossible people
Oh, did I forget to water the crops? Silly me! That's so obvious
Deeper I dig...sorry, are we going to be digging up graves now?
Actually, there are many ways without mills. Stop making stupid puns
My cow has the power to milk itself then...unless...nobody drink the cow milk, ok? Ok
Well, if anyone with a high-enough farm level can access them, then surely they can't be prized? They'd be too common
The cow fluid has been collected. Now to secretly fool someone into buying it
OK, I can't lie. Balancing a coin on your nose whilst juggling 3 coins with 1 hand is pretty damn inpressive. Not enough to keep me entertained though
The aghast from the 1 exp was enough to send her backwards
This game really progresses through levels quickly
Stop pestering me with stupid Facebook stuff
Oh yes, I'm having so much fun. This is probably the most fun anyone has ever had playing a video game before. 1173/5
80% off? That's the deal of the century! How wouldn't pick that up
Sure...we'll call it cool milk
Ok, two minutes...this'll be a while
So...there is absolutely nothing to do right now...hm
This is a crop farm/tree farm/land animal farm, not a sea animal farm. Sail elsewhere
To be fair, I was going to drink the alcohol myself
Zynga's imaginary money mine right here
What the...why are there eyes at the top of her closed eyelids? She is the antichrist
So that finally got built...gotta love wait timers
Her actions are those which could never be explained
So...when do we unlock the marijuana crops then? Why else would a teenage/young adult person have a farm without some pot on it
Apple pie...is this game trying to make more become Applejack? Who in the hell would enjoy that?
I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OBVIOUS BEGGING!!!
We can expand now...the empire shall soon begin...freemium for everyone, everything. No escape, just you, a game, and your wallet
Who the hell let goats on the farm? Was it the antichrist again?
Alright, hopefully this scare-goat can stop future goat invasions
15 Minutes Later
Yeah, Farmville 2...just...don't...don't even bother, you know what it's like already
Sorry for wasting your time